


i'm scared that i'll never get enough of you

by antiopesgirlfriend



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 10:56:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16871653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antiopesgirlfriend/pseuds/antiopesgirlfriend
Summary: the thought of yaz and river meeting fills the doctor with an overwhelming sense of jealousy. she does everything she can to prevent this from happening.





	i'm scared that i'll never get enough of you

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the song feels like this by maisie peters

Every now and then the Doctor would take Yaz on her own trips. Just the two of them. Sometimes it was when the boys were busy. Sometimes the Doctor just wanted to spend more time with Yaz. Time with Yaz away from everyone else. It had been a long time since the Doctor had felt like this about anyone. And, in her new form, she both loved and hated how it made her feel. Her new body experienced a lot of emotions a lot more intensely than she was used to. Whenever she looked at Yaz, she felt bubbles in her stomach that lifted her hearts. When Yaz spoke to her, she could feel them soar. But when Yaz was a little more than friendly to someone else, the Doctor felt a hole begin to form in her chest. It was a most unpleasant feeling. Unfortunately for the Doctor, it wasn’t just Yaz that made her feel like this. It was River Song too.

There were times when these feelings were overwhelming. Many times, in fact. And it was on one of these occasions that the Doctor realised a moment she never wanted to happen. Yaz and River meeting. She didn’t think her hearts could take it.

The Doctor knew her wife. And she knew that Yaz would be her type. Just thinking of River flirting with Yaz filled her with dread. But the worst part of all was that the Doctor could see Yaz returning the flirtations, leaving the Doctor alone at the side, watching the two women she loved falling for each other.

* * *

“This is mad.” Said Yaz, looking around in wonder.

“The end of war does mysterious things to human beings.” The Doctor kept a watchful eye over the crowds. “And the defeat of Napoleon is no exception.”

Yaz watched the people celebrating. It was something akin to football fans drunkenly celebrating a win. Drinks were passed from friend to friend, stranger to stranger. A smile lit up each reddened face. All previous woes and current injuries were forgotten, abandoned. It was rowdy but there was infectious jubilation in the air, and Yaz could feel herself being drawn in. “Come on!” Yaz grabbed the Doctor’s hand and pulled her into the crowd. It was time to join the merriments.

The Doctor let Yaz lead her wherever she wanted to go. She just wanted to be with her. Seeing her face light up as they took in the sights was enough for the Doctor. Yaz was enough of a sight for her.

Looking just past Yaz, the Doctor thought she’d caught a glimpse of a familiar face. There was a woman, just twenty foot away, who looked exactly like River Song. The Doctor’s eyes widened. Her stomach flipped. Yaz couldn’t meet her. It was time for the Doctor to act, and she needed to act quick. Using every muscle in her face, the Doctor forced a loud yawn, adding a stretch of her arms to try to encapsulate true fatigue.

“Are you alright, Doctor?” Asked Yaz, slightly unsure of what the Doctor was trying to portray.

“I just-“ The Doctor paused to fake another yawn. “Sorry. I just can’t seem to stop yawning. I must be really, really tired.”

Yaz tried to stop her confusion showing on her face. That was most definitely not what a yawn looked like. But then again, she wasn’t going to argue. “Would you like to go back to the TARDIS to sleep?”

“Brilliant idea, Yasmin Khan.” The Doctor clapped Yaz on the back and immediately started back towards the TARDIS.

Yaz followed, dazed. The Doctor didn’t half have a funny way of showing she was tired.

* * *

 

“Here we are, Yasmin Khan!” Declared the Doctor, arms spread to gesture her surroundings. “Britain, 60AD. The home of Boudicca, Queen of the Celtic Inceni tribe.”

“No way.” Yaz breathed, taking in the views. Ever since she had learned of Boudicca at school, she had idolised her. It wasn’t often she’d heard of women in history, particularly women who lead an uprising against the Romans. That was the day she first began to care a little less about Izzy Flint and her bullying ways. Yaz could pretend to be Boudicca in the playground and no-one could touch her. “Can we see her?” She asked excitedly.

“Boudicca?” The Doctor clarified. “We can certainly try! Just don’t go and change history, okay?”

Yaz nodded. “Okay.”

The pair walked into the village, side by side. Yaz was jittering in anticipation, unable to keep her hands still.

“You need to relax.” The Doctor told her, trying to subtly speak from the corner of her mouth. However, by restricting the movement of her mouth, it seemed the entirety of her face was compensating by scrunching in ways Yaz had never witnessed before.

“Sorry.” Yaz stuffed her hands in her pockets, forcing them to still.

As they got closer to the centre of the village, a larger home came into sight, made from more stone than canvas. It even had small windows. Yaz peered around to have a look inside. She pulled back abruptly, blinking hard. “I think our Queen Boudicca is… busy.”

The Doctor furrowed her brows. “Well, what did you expect? She’s a Queen!” She moved to look at what Yaz had seen, continuing. “Of course she’s a busy lady. She has a country to run-“ The Doctor felt her cheeks flush. Her hands went clammy. “Ah. I see what you mean.” She cleared her throat, mind blank. She had just seen a flash of curled red hair and a full back of pale skin move past the window. “That’ll be the bedroom, then.”

“I wonder who she’s with.” Yaz thought aloud. She popped her head around to inspect once more. “Oh my God.” Yaz was agog. “She’s with a _woman_.”

Now also overcome with curiosity, the Doctor sneaked another look. She paled. The Doctor would recognise those blonde curls anywhere. “I think we should leave the ladies be.”

Yaz nodded silently and wordlessly followed the Doctor back to the TARDIS.

* * *

 

“And here lies the event that caused the creation of the Doomsday Stone.” The Doctor rambled to Yaz, trying to shout of the wind bellowing over the Northumbrian island. “This is the site of the ransacking of the church which is responsible for the origin of Christianity in the UK! The Vikings attack the church – a sacred building on a sacred island!”

Yaz looked at the Doctor warily. It wasn’t like her to suggest visiting a place like this. “Are you sure this is a good place to go?”

“It’s an interesting part of history.” The Doctor put her hands in her pockets. “Also, Vikings.”

At that moment, a figure passed in front of them, sword in hand. The Doctor gawked. That hand was familiar to say the least. It was River’s. Why did she have to do this everywhere the Doctor took Yaz? River would know just how much this would irritate her. That was probably her reasoning behind it. The Doctor sighed. “I think you might be right, Yaz. Let’s go back home.”

* * *

 

“Thank you for coming to this with me, Yaz.” The Doctor said shyly as they made their way into the _Pits & Perverts _benefit concert. Ever since she had watched _Pride_ with Yaz, she had been longing to experience the concert.

The atmosphere was electric. Goosebumps raised on Yaz’s skin. Crowds which were united as a safe space always had that effect on Yaz. She thought it was beautiful how connected a room full of strangers could be. Concerts had a similar vibe. Being at a concert organised by a group of LGBTQ+ activists in support of the striking miners was a feeling impossible to describe.

They stayed for the entire concert, paying rapt attention and fully immersing themselves in the music. Yaz was amazed by the Doctor’s knowledge of 80s music. Regrettably, Yaz could not say she felt the same way about her dancing abilities.

Feeling a burst of bravery, Yaz turned to the Doctor and asked what her type was.

In a typical Doctor style, she gave no coherent answer. Only vagueness and once upon a time. “What about you?” She added at the end.

When she asked the question, Yaz had not expected its return. The truth was, the Doctor was her type from top to bottom. Yaz had two options. She could lie and pretend her type was not her – and risk never having a chance to be with her – or she could tell the truth, risking their friendship if the Doctor didn’t take it well. Yaz decided on the latter. The Doctor was a lovely person. Hopefully, she would understand even if she didn’t feel the same way back. “I tend to like women who are older than me. They usually have a kind face, framed by blonde hair. Someone sure of themselves. Someone adventurous.”

For every next word that came out of Yaz’s mouth, the Doctor tried to not let her hearts break. She had failed in keeping Yaz and River apart. Yaz had noticed her. How could she not? Her wife was stunning. She couldn’t blame Yaz. After all, she too had fallen for the woman. She, above all, could understand. The Doctor spent the rest of the night rather subdued but trying hard to not dampen Yaz’s night.

* * *

 

“So, there _is_ truth behind the legend!” Yaz exclaimed as she and the Doctor walked into the archery range of Sherwood Forest.

“Always is.” Confirmed the Doctor. “Although there are usually a couple of changes to the story each time it is passed on. Robin Hood has largely been kept the same.”

They stepped into the crowd, managing to find a point in the stall where they could see over people’s heads but still be close enough to make out the arrows and targets. The Doctor looked over to the royal stand and rolled her eyes dramatically. Was River serious? Did she have to be _everywhere_? And being Marion’s maid was one step too far. She was an impossible woman.

“Where’s the royal stand?” Asked Yaz.

“I couldn’t tell you, Yaz.” The Doctor lied through her teeth. She loved her wife, but it was at times like this she really frustrated her. And now, Yaz was looking left and right, high and low to try to find the stall. It was only a matter of time before she saw it. Unless the Doctor successfully distracted her. That was what she must do.

And so, whenever Yaz almost looked towards the royal stall, the Doctor swayed her attention elsewhere. At first, she began with pointing and saying, “Oh wow, look over there!” But that was only believable once when there wasn’t something amazing to look at. Yaz wasn’t a gullible girl. “Did you drop that?” Came next. Then, “Please explain to me how archery works.” From that moment on, the Doctor had to get more creative. “That man has very funky shoes!”, “What snazzy trousers, do you think I could get a pair?” and “Do you think that bird’s descendants still live in this forest?” were among her excuses. Now and then, the Doctor even turned to physical distractions. Falling down the stall, jumping in front of Yaz’s eye-line. Her distractions were excessive. But the Doctor saw them as necessary. The only time the Doctor let Yaz out of her sight was when she needed to go to the toilet. And surely, she wouldn’t be able to meet River then.

* * *

 

“Wedding number four.” Said the Doctor as she walked with Yaz into the Palace of Palencia.

Modern-day Greenwich was familiar to Yaz, but she felt like she was in a completely different place right now. Tudor London was really quite different to what she was used to. “Anne of Cleves isn’t it?”

The Doctor nodded. “This could be an awkward wedding to witness.” She warned. “King Henry VIII has already met our Anne. While she is fair, gentle and virtuous, she is not as pretty as he would like. Which is a shame, really, because she really is a lovely woman.”

“Do you know her?”

“We’ve crossed paths here and there.” The Doctor spoke as if that were the sure end of that conversation, and she and Yaz walked into the palace without another word.

The ceremony was beautiful even if the air was a little thick. Everyone in the congregation knew the King had looked into each and every way of breaking off the marriage legally, albeit unsuccessfully. However, it was the reception that everyone was waiting for, and this was the part Yaz and the Doctor enjoyed the most. Yaz had never been to a party quite like it. To say everyone present was a little too merry would be an understatement. She had no idea what was in the drinks, or even what they were. Yaz was going to avoid them like the plague. The same couldn’t be said for the Doctor, however.

“Yaz!” She slurred enthusiastically, waving her tankard in Yaz’s face. “You have _got_ to try this!”

Yaz slowly pushed it away from her. “I’m alright, thanks. Why don’t you give it to someone else? Maybe that lady over there?” She pointed beyond the Doctor.

The Doctor spun around to see who Yaz was nominating. She turned back right away. “No.” She huffed and tried to cross her arms without spilling her drink. The lady was River. Her eyes were sparkling, very much aware of her effect on the Doctor. “I just need to go to the toilet.” The Doctor excused herself and left for the toilet so she could collect her thoughts.

With the Doctor gone, Yaz was left on her own. Not wanting to be stood awkwardly, she looked out for someone she could introduce herself to. The lady with the blonde curls had a kind face and a twinkle in her eye. Yaz thought she would be a good place to start.

After almost twenty minutes of talking to the lady, Yaz had grown a little concerned of the Doctor’s whereabouts, or current lack of. She politely excused herself and went in search of the Doctor.

As expected, Yaz found the Doctor still in the toilets, looking a little sorry for herself. Yaz wrapped an arm around the older woman’s shoulders and led her back to the TARDIS where she hoped she would sleep long enough to reduce her hangover to a minor headache.

* * *

 

Britain, July 2013. Yaz had been fourteen. Now she was sat in London, watching the news on a pub television at the age of nineteen. It blew her mind that her thirteen-year-old self was just three hours away from her at that very moment in time. The Doctor had brought Yaz here at her request. Having looked after a very drunk, and then very hungover, Doctor, she had earned a few trips of her own choosing. This was her first. Soho, London in July of 2013. The day parliament legalised same-sex marriage in England, Scotland and Wales.

Today was momentous to those who experienced same-sex attraction. Finally, they were able to marry the person they loved. Yaz could remember the announcement when the law was passed. She could picture the news anchors on the small television in the kitchen of her parents’ home. She could recall the pure elation, the ecstasy, even though, at that point, she did not know she liked women. It was something she wanted to experience once more though this time knowing her identity.

As the news played on the pub television, Yaz’s eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to spill over. Hairs raised on her arms and a shiver ran down her spine. It ran so deep it felt like it was ingrained in her muscles.

The Doctor wrapped an arm around Yaz and pulled her close. It was in times like these, the Doctor knew, her human companions needed support. And she would be damned if she weren’t the one to provide it. Humans were a species that felt pride in their own actions. Often, this was a shortcoming. But at this moment, it was everything but that. The Doctor had felt pride well in the room in the form of love. Love was a feeling she had experienced more than pride. It had left her many an unseen scar. But behind each scar lay a myriad of happy memories. She would not be the same without them.

Once the initial raucous had calmed and there was an atmosphere of slightly calmer delight, the Doctor excused herself to use the bathroom. Upon her return, she came across Yaz sat with none other than River, her own wife. The Doctor could not contain her eye roll. She sighed using her entire body. As she had once pictured, River was there, flirting with Yaz without a care in the world. Yaz sat beside her, a reddish tinge to her cheeks, playing with her hands in her lap, shy but certainly not opposed to the situation.

Jealousy bubbled in the Doctor’s stomach. The green-eyed monster within was stirring.

“Hi, River.” Said the Doctor through gritted teeth.

“Doctor.” River beamed knowingly. “Long time no see.”

Yaz looked between the two women, trying to make the connection. “You two know each other?”

“I’d say we know each other pretty well.” River smirked.

Again, the Doctor rolled her eyes. “She’s my wife.”

Yaz’s jaw dropped. “Your- but she was flirting with me at the wedding! And now she’s just asked me if I’m single. Doctor, I’m so sorry. I had no idea-“

“You met at the wedding?”

“Just after you left for the toilet, I believe.” Said River, watching the Doctor’s facial expression morph from confusion to realisation to jealousy. “Are you jealous?”

“A little.” The Doctor mumbled, kicking her heels to the floor and watching her feet.

“Of who?”

The Doctor spluttered. River was skilled in the art of putting her in awkward positions. “You know who.”

River feigned cluelessness. “Please share.” When the Doctor gave her a pained look, River relented. “Okay. If it helps, Yaz was just explaining she was very much taken-“

“What?! No, I wasn’t!” Interrupted Yaz.

“Yes, you were.”

“I just like someone.”

“The Doctor.” Said River gently.

Yaz nodded in admittance. There was no point in denying it.

“Me?” The Doctor pointed to herself, incredulous.

“Yes.” Said Yaz. “I did try to tell you, but you didn’t seem to care.”

“I care about everything you do, Yasmin Khan.” The Doctor paused, racking her brain for the moment Yaz was talking about. She couldn’t remember it. “When?”

“At the benefit concert. You asked me what my type was, and I described you.”

The Doctor’s eyes and mouth opened in realisation.

“You always have been a little dense when it comes to emotions.” Said River, not unkindly. “As your wife, I thought I might give you a hand here. You’re always so busy helping others that you forget to ask for it yourself.” River stood and walked over to the Doctor, bringing her into an embrace. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” The Doctor whispered into River’s curls.

It was River who ended the hug. “For what it’s worth, I don’t mind.” She gestured between Yaz and the Doctor. “I actually think she’s kind of cute.” River winked at Yaz.

“What?” They chorused.

“I think we should all get acquainted. What do you think, Doctor?”

“Brilliant idea.” She looked questioningly to Yaz.

Yaz shrugged. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading ! i hope it was okay <3


End file.
